We are ENGAGED! (and she betrayed me!) All in ONE month! Aint life GRAND?

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Should anyone want to contact me personally, please do at: Desertsnake1991@yahoo.com or (407)924-0929 for comments or questions! I have nothing to hide! (Thanks, Jim)

WOW! Where do start? The last time I updated this Blog...my whore of a girlfriend, and then FIANCEE, of 5 1/2 years, had broken up with me (again!) in March of 2008. The thing, skinny, gaunt, sickly pictures of her that she was throwing all over the Net, made me furious...and worried. So, I jumped a plane, and headed back to germany to see what was going on...

Man o man! I had no idea...although, I had my suspicions! My girl...Dagmara, was (again!) online, with dozens of men, and was hooking up, left and right. I just didnt know the whole story!


I arrived back in Germany (of course, not knowing...but suspecting...) and I went to visit her. I knocked, and she let me in...we had coffee, caught up, talked, and made Dinner plans. Day one. The very next day...she comes out to Wasserlosen where I was staying, and asks me to move back in with her! I was staying in germany for 30 days, so...day three, and I was back in! So far, so good...right?

Things went slow, but well at first. She was still spending MANY hours a day online, chatting with her loser/asshole facebook "friends"...but I persisted. I took her for cruises in the countryside, we went out to our favorite Greek retsaurant, had great dinners out under the trees, took long walks, went to the Irish Pub...just kissing, holding hands, reconnecting...and yes, making love every chance we had!

She kept saying to me..."Relax Jim...dont rush things...things will go well for us". That was her "Mantra" when I got there. I had tried to involve her in a few "I need answers" Q&A sessions. But she wasn't ready. I could tell that she had something very serious on her mind though. I could also see by the drastic weight loss...there was something really still "wrong". It was the fabled "900 lb. Gorilla in the room". And I wanted to find out what it was all about.

Days turned into weeks, and I came up with the idea to take us to Antwerp in Belgium. It was my favorite City in Europe, and home to many great memories. None were as good though as the ones I shared with my Dagi there. So...I asked, she made work schedule arrangements, and we went! I was the happiest guy in the world...

I felt that this trip would change and restore everything. A day before we went...we had an unusually long Love making night and morning...when Dagi rolled over to me and said "Jim..do you love me"? I said "Of course!". She then said "Is it real? Is what we have the real thing? Can we make it work again?" I of course..."Yes..of course!". then she said.."Then I think we are back together again...I love you, and will never leave you again...I promise!"

I was ELATED! FINALLY! A breakthrough!

So...off we went. We arrived in the City very quickly, and we settled into our 4+ Star room near the Train Station, as our"usual" Hotel was booked up. We did the usual things...sightseeing, shopping, Movies, drinks, Irish Pub, Karaoke...all the things that made us happy in days gone by. All was well. On the Saturday night, I felt...the time is right! I was going to (finally!) propose to her!

I packed the Ring that had bought for her here in Orlando. It was a nice 1/2 Karat Diamond Solitaire...a thing of beauty, and the correct size. I put in my jacket pocket, and off we went into the night. All that night, I asked her "test" questions...basically sizing her up, seeing if she was ready for such a thing. It all seemed more or less perfect. Or so I thought!

As it got closer to Midnight, I maneuvered us towards the Suikkerei, and out to the Schelde River. As we get out to the River, in the breeze, and with my favorite City behind me, I stopped, and pulled out the Ring case without her seeing it. I asked her...

"Dagmara...do you know how much you mean to me? How much I dearly love you"? She said "I do...". Then I said, "Honey...I have a question for you...one that I have wanted to ask for years, but only can just now do, because of Money, time, and...this.." And opened the case...

There in the Moonlight...was the Ring. She looked at it, and immediately burst into tears! I asked her then.. "Dagmara Moron...will you be my Wife"

Then...tears...and silence. She stared at me, and did not know what to say! Then, she started trembling (It was windy...) and she said words that tore through me like a laser beam... she said "Jim...I love you more than anything...but I am not ready for this...all that we have planned and hoped for is not 100%! What you went to the States to do, is not "done" yet!"

I said "I understand honey...But, we will be there soon. This Ring, this question, this proposal, is just a question...and, I am asking for your committment! For your promise, that you will remain true and faithful to me as you have been all these hard years together, and, that you will know, that by my asking, that I will be the same for you...faithful and true forever".

She looked at me, and said "I am not ready"

I paused...not quite sure what I had just heard, and simply said..."I understand". I took the ring, put it back in the box. The next thing I do not remember fully, but she told me in a later conversation, that I took the Ring, reared back, and was going to throw it into the Schelde! So...i guess I did! I felt that my offer was a one time deal...and either her heart was in it, or it was not...either way, I did not want that Ring anymore near me...it had become a sign that I had (again) failed with Dagmara! So...I wanted to throw it away....


Dagmara, seeing what I was going to do, immediately jumped on me, and forced the Ring from my hands, crying "NO! NO" Dont do it"! And crying hysterically... She took it from me, put it in her pants pocket and said...

"When I said I was not sure, that is because so many things have happened (Little did I know what she was talking about!) And, that I am not ready to say yes NOW".

Well..I was devastated...the night was totally ruined for me, and I felt so weak, I thought I would simply fall over...collapse. I said simply "Lets go back to the room". We made that long walk back...and did not say a word to each other. She tried several times to hold my hand, but I wouldnt allow it. I was devastated. We get back to the room, showered, got ready for bed, and went to sleep...not a kiss, a hug, anything. It was pure hell for me.

The next morning, I figured, the trip was all for nothing, and that we should go home, simply forget the whole thing. I said "Honey...I think we should just pay the Bill, and I can drive you back to Schweinfurt. ". She said "No! Lets please have a nice day in the City, there are some things that we need to talk about". I of course asked what it could be, and what could have made her even THINK about saying "No" last night...but she wouldn't budge...she insisted we stay. So...instead of pissing her off, I stayed. My heart was not in it...but i did.

We went to the Volksfest on the Vlaamsekei where I had gone for so many years with friends. We rode the ferris wheel, ate cotton condy, did all the "fest" things that couples do. We kissed on the wheel...saw the City from on high...enjoyed the day. I noticesd as it got closer towards lunch/dinner time, she was getting a bit nervous. So... asked...

"Dagi...what was it that you wanted to tell me??" She was by this time VERY nervous, almost pale, and trembling slightly....so I helped her out a bit by asking "Is it someone else? because I know already....."

I just let the question hang in the air.....

She looked at me as if she had seen a ghost! AND, she knew then, that I knew. (Or sort of knew...I was testing her, hoping she would just admit it, spit it out...)

She said "Jim...You left me here all alone, and were in Florida.,then you went on a cruise to the Bahama's, and were hanging out with your rich friends...I was alone"

What THIS was, was Dagi's typical "Things are bothering me, so let me blame MY anxiety on YOU" way of thinking. So...I dug a bit deeper...."what is it that you want to say to me??"

She said "We were not togetther then...so whatever you know, or think you know doesn't "count"...so many things happened that I am not proud of, and I dont want to tell you about".

It was only then...that she FINALLY told me, about her secret trip to Philadelphia to "meet friends" (I had been bugging her constantly to tell me what she was really doing there!) Once I found out, naturally i was livid! I was upset, because she could have been KILLED there! NO ONE does what she did! it was stupid, and totally reckless! But...here I was, asking for truth...so what could I do? I simply accepted it. I couldnt turn back time, and she had through a Miracle survived the trip...so, I simply said "OK...then why didn't you call me? tell me you were in the US? I would have come to see you!"

She in turn countered with"I didnt want that...I wanted to be with "friends". (I later found out that she had gone to be with this silly baldd headed Reserves Sp4 named Paul Bauducco. he is in some mess kit repair company or something like that...just some loser she met on Facebook...and went to see. I was mad as hell....but, I still wanted to "save" the situation. So, I played "Diplomat".

I asked some more questions, got some more lies, some half truths...all frustrating. Day turned into night, and it was time to get dressed for Dinner. I was not happy how the day had turned out...not at all. That night...after an "ok" night of Dinner, singing, just being "together", we kissed...dec;lared our love for each other...and just hoped and prayed things would be ok.

That night...we walked across the Groenplaats hand in hand, looked up and paused as we stared at the Cathedral. We kissed again, and just stood there. At that moment, she said words that I will never forget...

" Jim..I love you, and I want to Marry you. I want to be your Wife..."

I couldnt believe it! So I asked her..."Is this true? Do you M-E-A-N it!?? Honestly?"

"YES!" she cried out as she threw her arms around my neck, kissed me, and handed me the Ring that she had carried with her all day long! I took the ring, and put it on her finger...a perfect fit! FINALLY! We were engaged!!! FINALLY!

All is well with the story...right? WRONG! Minutes later, her father died.

I will not go into the whole tragic telling of THAT part of the story...but, it was the hardest 2 days of my life. I ended up driving us 2,860kms in TWO DAYS! All the way from Antwerp, to Schweinfurt, to Bielsko....and back after the Funeral.

It was a sad time for all. But little did I know...what all was REALLY going on!

It turns out (I found all this after I came back to Florida...what a FOOL I was!)

Dagmara had been intensively online, and had made several dates with some of these idiots she met on Facebook! She had met up with some total idiot and loser named Morton Lyyke in Denmark...a silly pasty faced dick head, wanna-be DJ, that had no car, and lived at home with his fucking parents! And thats not all...

She had paraded this loser all through Schweinfurt...the town where we met, fell in love at, and lived together at for 5 1/2 YEARS...! Everybody that saw them laughed at her...everyone that saw them out and about turned their backs to them, would not greet her, and some even called me here! In tears!...at all times of the day and night! I ended up getting at least 6 phone calls about this...the worst being from my own Daughter! She and this loser were at the Movies the same time my Daughter was there with her boyfriend! The textbook slap in the face...

I was devastated. My true, faithful sweet Dagmara, is now a liar, a cheater, and everybody's internet weekend slut-fuck! How far they fall....

I could not believe it!

So...where are we at NOW?

Well...once I found out...she conveniently calls me up , breaks up with me yet AGAIN...and then has the fucking nerve, to try to make it all somehow (you guessed it.. MY FAULT!)

So...What do we do now??

Well...I came here to America to start a new life for us. We had a deal. She broke the agreement. I stayed true...she cheated. I never went on a date with ANYone...she went and fucked strange Men that she met on Facebook. So...thats her new life I guess! But one (understandably...with out ME!)

Many things have happened since...words were said, and I declared that I (foolishly) still loved her, and wanted to help her work it out...

Well, I realized..."You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink".

So...I will keep my promise, I remain true, and yes...I have dome EVERYTHING I came here to do. She? Well, she has cancelled most of her slutty online ads and My Space sites...and I can only hope that she will use her time and her "new life" of being an internet Whore to somehow save her self?...what do I mean? Well, not only has she damned her self in the eyes of the lord, but she is now an astounding 6,000 Euros in minus at her Bank, and is living hand to mouth!

So...I estimate MAXIMUM three months from now (Today being the 29th of Aug 2008) She will be probably: Homeless, and out of work. She has virtually ALL of her Co-workers against her now...when they found out what she did to me (us I should say) they were VERY upset! Now that her Bosses know that she cannot be trusted, and that she can easily lie and betray in such a way, she has been taken off the list for Management candidates at H&M (Hennes and Moritz) where she works still in Schweinfurt.

Things are just not looking good for my brown eyed girl! And...I feel very little sympathy for her...because she betrayed my trust, the trust of her friends and relatives, misled us all, and has now painted her self into a very tight corner.

But...I am a Christian. I can only pray for her...as all attempts to reach out to her to help her save her self have failed. My Therapist says that this will take time, and she will have to completely crash and burn before she sees the fill extent of what she has done.

So we all wait...for the impending implosion. And, It will not be pretty.

When Love is not enough?

Hi...I am still in germany, and things are NOT going well. It seems everytime I talk or try to talk to Dagmara...things just seem to get worse. Instead of better and closer relations...we are drifting farther and farther apart.

One of or probably the MAIN reason is, I found out, that when I invited her to come be with me in Florida, see my house, fly to the Bahamas with me, and meet a few friends that I have made there...she refused.

I always had to hear from her that her biggest dream was to come to the US with me. See it all for the first time with me. Well, She told me that the reason she spit in my face, and pissed on my offer...was so that she could fly to New York..."Alone".

Now...I was born at night...but I wasn´t born LAST night! She can tell me that she went there, and travelled allllll over by herself, until she is blue in the face, and until Monkeys fly out of my ass...but I simply do NOT believe it. Especially after I see on her new Facebook site, that she has dzens of new "friends" and a huge portion of the list lives IN or near New York.

She simply went there to hook up with someone that she met online. My girl...the girl I love and would die for...she knew what she was doing, and she knew it would hurt me. Great.

Anyway...at home, things are veeeery cold, and hateful. I try desperately to talk sense to her...but she is simply not having it. I ask her to come lay on the sofa, watch a Movie with me...she refuses. She instead, sits on My Space and Facebook for 4- 6 HOURS a night, sometimes past midnight...and leaves me sitting alone. The guy that came half way around the world to ask her to Marry me.

She keeps saying "I need time to think about my trip to New York (huh? What the FUCK is there to think about, other than the fact that she lied to me, and put herself in GREAT danger by going there to hook up?) Yeah...I would re-examine that as well I guess.

So, I recommended that I simply take off for a week or so, go see my old friends in the Czech Republic, guys that I have known for over 15 years. Her answer? "Yeah! Great! Go be with all the Czech Bitches that you knew before me...go be Mr Big Party American...but do it, and never come back, never contact me again".

If you look in the Dictionary under "DOUBLE FUCKING STANDARD"...you will see my dear Dagi´ßs picture there! She takes the old school Double Standard, and turns it into something brand new entirely! Unreal!

In other words, with her; "Whats good for the Goose is NOT good for the Gander".

She can do, say and feel as she wishes, regardless as to how hurtful and hateful and damaging it is...and suffer NO consequences. I on the other hand, am not allowed to travel, to see-talk with-communicate with anyone else on the Planet, without suffering the gravest of consquences!

Fair? I think not.

So...dear Reader, you are asking...why do I put up with it all? Well, I ask myself that very same question about every 3 minutes of my life these days. I really do. Is it worth it? I went and did everything she ORDERED me to do...every single thing.
Job? I have two...Car? I have a new Explorer. House? I live in a 4 Bedroom house with a nice Garden. What else? I did it! I won! She kicked me out of her life and left me to die in a crappy City apartment I used to have "sans heat" at 7 degrees BELOW zero....didnt give the slightest shit about me, left me to die. And for what?

Then...by some fucking Miracle, we were on the way to patching things up, getting back togeher, even making love with each other again....and now what? All te promises that she made? Broken. Everything that comes out of her mouth? Fucking lies and contradictions. Me? But no...Jimmy has to live like a Choir boy...Jimmy cannot travel and go see friends! (She keeps begging for silly assed "alone time"...) I gave her 4 fucking MONTHS of alone time! And look what she did with the time! LOOK WHAT SHE DID WITH IT!

Its just not fair.

And, truthfully...I really do not know how much longer I can put up with it. Everyone has their limits...and with her, and her damned Mother talking shit about me behind my back...and I am supposed to sit there and just take it? How long?

This morning before she went to work, we managaed to talk for almost an hour...

The thoughts flew into my head and out my mouth at warp speed! I professed for her my love...my promises for the future...

Her answers? Now that I did each and every thing that she asked me to do? Every fucking thing in the PAST tense...

" We were..."
" Do it for you, not for me"
"Forget me, I have no feelings any more"
"Leave me my alone time" (That she uses 4-6 hours EACH and every day without exceüption to chat and exchange pics with other assholes that she met online....!! It would be FUNNY if it were not so fucking SAD!

And on top of all that, the Irony of it all is not lost on me I can assure you! I BEGGED her to let me have Internet put into our apartment...and she adamantly refused, for 4.5 years! I had to go drive in the fucking SNOW 12 inches deep to go check my business mails for allllll that time. And now? Now she has the Net at hoe, and it has 1000% taken over her life, and made her blind to everything around her!

There was not even fucking FOOD in her apartment when I got back! There was an old tomatoe, a moldy piece of bread, some dried up cheese, expired bottle of salad dressing and NOTHING else in her Fridge! She is now like a fucking drug addict!

The irony of it all!! Unreal!


So...the question remains...how long? How long can I take it? And why should I?

Because...she is broken...and needs to be repaired. She has a sickness...so, I need to stay with her, and help her to et well...to see again. Its my duty...and when I said I loved her forever, its what I mean.

This is a test. and I will pass the test- Her life depends on it.

If some of her friends are reading this (and I am sure they are...) then TELL her...before its too late...before she pushes me out of her life, and she misses the chance to have everything in her life that she ever wanted or dreamed of...talk to her! BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Because if I lose her...then I have lost all that is important to me. If I lose her...I lose my life as well. It ends at that moment.

Dagmara...I love you, and will keep fighting as long as I have the resources and will, and strength.....but believe me... am not your fool...I see through your games. I have feelings too, and I have my limits.

Come back before it is too late! PLEASE!

Back in GERMANY!

What do they say about Italy? It would be a great place if it wasn´t full of Italians? Well, thats kinda harsh...I like Italians! But the Germans? Man o MAN! They get on my nerves BIG TIME!

OK...I have been offline quite a while, and WHOLE lot has happened!

I left Orlando Florida to come back to Germany to deal with some things that are undone, and are coming undone. I went out today and checked on my Cars (all is well more or less) started 2 of them, changed some stuff around, took out the trash, and topped off all the fluids.

But...the news I know you are waiting on is....(ta da!)
"Whats going on with Dagmara???" (That as your question...right?)

Well...heres the news...

When I flew in, I "sneaked" into Schweinfurt. It was (What else...) cold, raining cats and dogs, and was cold. There was even sow on the ground as my train took me thru the Spessart mountains between Frankfurt and Schweinfurt.

My Buddy Chris let me bunk at his place, so I went out there to his pad, got settled, showered, and dozed off....for 13 hours! (I must have been tired!)

Anyway....I was dying to know/see what was going on with Dagmara...so I went into the City, bought a nice Red Rose, had it wrapped nice, and I went over to her place. I didnt know it, but she was off work that day (I found out when I looked for her there first...) she gets now not too many off days, because they are short handed over there...anyway, she was at home.

So...I rang the bell, and when she answered (my heart was beating hard!) I said "POST!" (Which is German for the Mailman...)

She actually didn't recognize my voice, and she rang me in! So, up the 6 flights of stairs I went...I heard as she opened her door, ready to receive the Mailman...and then I came around the corner, and she saw me!

It was funny, because instead of being yelled at or criticized(Like I had expected) she actually smiled, and (wow!) let me in!

I kissed her, hugged her, and gave her the Rose. We ended up talking quite calm and friendly (despite all the unnecessary BS that she has put me through the last 4 months with her freaking online escapades...) for over and hour .

So...after leaving that day. she called me that night, and asked if we could go out to eat...a good beginning. That was a week ago...after 2 nights with Chris, she finally asked me to come stay with her.

Its been touch and go, and we have had a few heated discussions (she is VERY stubborn, and everything she says is right, all that I say is WRONG...) but,she hasn't thrown me out in the street like she did back in November and then again in January . So far, so good.

We are not 100% with each other (if you know what I mean...) but...I feel the situation getting better day by day. I think I will ask her if she wants to take a 4 day trip to our old stomping grounds in Antwerp soon....

Cross your fingers! I have taken a LOT of pics with my new Camera, so when I get back on my own PC instead of this creepy PC in a terrorist Internet cafe run by Jihadi´s...I will post them.

So...as the Italians say...

"Ciao for now!"

Lonely, Lazy Sunday....

G' day, and welcome to my Sunday Blog entry. have to say, that this blog site doesnt get near as much traffic or comment as my old My Space site did...but, at least I am not being stalked and harassed by other people here. At least something right?

Well, my round trip ticket to America has to be used by Tuesday...so, I will hop a flight back to Germany, and use the time back in Europe to see my kiddies, check on my cars, and of course...try feverishly to re-connect with my Dagmara...

She wrote me an SMS about 2 days ago. It was in response to one that I sent to her by mistake...one that was meant for my buddy Danny. She evidently could sense the depair and sadness in my message and she answered...also one of her famous short SMS's...

"I am so sorry you are sad".

Well ladi DA! OF COURSE I am SAD! Damn!

Well...she is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the mornings, and the very last thing I think about before I doze off...which incidentally is getting harder and harder these days, and almost impossible without taking a Melatonin tablet before I get into bed.

Now the nervousness of my coming back...and she doesn't know. I will just go back, then try to do some things in and around Schweinfurt without letting her know that I am there...maybe even watch her from afar...see how she is doing. Then when the time is right, maybe I'll go by H&M, bring some roses...say hi, then? Dinner?

Hope springs eternal....

I love her so much...and I miss her even more. And, even though I am coming back home...I have to eventually return to Florida, because I closed out my Apartment in Germany! I will have no home to go to...so, if she doesn't take me in, or let me stay over (a VERY real possibility...) I will have to impose on friends...

This all makes me very nervous. All of it does....its burning bloody holes in my stomach...

But I saw a Movie today, in which the main character was describing how he eventually convinced the girl of his dreams to Marry him....he said...

"Persistence pays off".

So...I will just keep trying....I simply cannot lose this girl! She is all I have...and all I want.

All I am, is Dagmara.


Good night sweety....I will be there soon.


xxxxJim

Apologies are in order....

They always are where I am concerned it seems! I was sitting out on my Patio last night...warm 78 degrees, birds were chirping, Mosquitoes were nipping, and it hit me....
All of the time with my Dagi...I was always on the defensive with her. OK, maybe not "always", but a HUGE amount of our time together.

It seems, that since I was not working "Full time", and seemed to be just lounging around on the Sofa quite a bit, while Dagmara worked full time and all day...that this may have seemed a tad "unfair" to my Brown Eyed girl! So Dagi...when you see this one day...I apologize!

Here are a few other things that I have already apologized for (profusely!) but will for sake of conversation, and hopefully resolution...will do again:

* I am sorry for yelling at you for calling me too much. It used to really bug me, because you called the T-H-E worst moments. But I would pay a million dollars to have you call me now! So, I am sorry.

* I am sorry for not having taken more aggressive steps to more permanent and meaningful work sooner. The chance really didn't didn't present itself to me until Dirk opened his door (and Wallet) to me here in Florida. Ironically, it was YOU that made me come here, and YOU that now tells everyone that I "left you". Well...now that I am here, and have accomplished virtually all of the things that I set out to do, and then extended you a very gracious invitation to come here and see things for yourself. You spat in my face, and refused my offer. So, what do I have to be "sorry" for in this instance? I am "sorry" for believing that you were a person of positive character, and for believing that you meant what you said, and that you really loved me. I am sorry for being so gullible, and so Naive.
* I am sorry that I called your Mother such bad names after we broke up in December. In my own Defense, I can only say that she led me to believe that she cared for me, and was interested in our relationship. When it turned out that she was two-faced, and was plotting against me behind me back...then this makes me (again) feel "sorry" for having believed in your Family. I am "sorry" I was blind. Love makes you that way ya know!
* I am sorry that I always referred to women or girls that I knew from my past. I truly am sorry for this. But can you remember that it was you that practically tortured me to find out these things? That you asked silly questions about all my past relationships incessantly? And for what? Then, when I made the mistake of telling you...my reward for openesss and honesty? Your constant temper tantrums and psychotic episodes. (of which the one we are experiencing right now, takes the cake, wins the prize, and is worth of an Oscar!) The lengths that you have gone to now, to make my life Hell...to turn on me, and forget all of the promises that you made to me once again make me (you guessed it...) "Sorry". I am sorry I was so open, I am sorry I didn't see that you would one day use these things against me, I am sorry for not seeing and believing again...Sorry, sorry, sorry.

* I am sorry for spending more money and time on my cars than was necessary. I know it took thousands of dollars in Monies that we could have used for Vacations, or trips, or (more) gifts for your Family. I am sorry for this...but it was my cars and my Hobbies that helped me in the times when you were on my back the most. I used it as a crutch...and for this, I am sorry.

(Its interesting to note here, that where I am constantly being forced to apologize for the silliest of things...that my dear Sweet Dagi has N-E-V-E-R apologized, or admitted to a mistake in the entire 4.5 years thyat we were together! Not once, ever, period! Hard to believe, but true. Sad but true actually. And, when I would "call" her on it, and ask directly or indirectly? her answer "Ja mein gott! Es ist halt so". (German translation: "Yeah, so what...thats the way it is")

Not exactly the foundation of healthy two-way communication is it? But I love her...what can I say! She is the girl for me. Plain and simple.

I imagine there are probably dozens of other things that I could apologize for, and if I can think of them, I'll add them here. These are just the ones that I could think of on the spur of the moment.

And so, I once again...apologize, and say I am sorry...for not remembering all the things that I should be saying I am sorry about!

Chasing Dagmara

Chasing Dagmara....the Love of my life, the girl of my dreams. The girl that these days doesn't answer my phone calls, never calls me her self, and writes rude, short, and hateful Emails.

Why? I have no idea. So...instead of drinking myself to death worrying about our (now) broken relationship...I instead will divert my energies into this Blog and online Photo album. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope my prayers will be answered, and that she will one day come back to me, and being the sweet girl I fell in love with so deeply 4.5 years ago.



There she is...this is how she looked the night I met her at the Club called "Banana's" in the Schweinfurt Hafen. This is where it all started...


This is Dagi and her friend Viola. Viola is also Polish, and worked there as a Waitress. She made KILLER Long island Ice teas...and I used to drink 4-6 of these Monsters each night....that was until Dagi came along, and I had a reason to live again....
Here we are...What later became Schweinfurts premier couple! Everywhere we went, people saw two people that T-R-U-L-Y loved each other. We were the envy of the town. What I didn't see or realize, was that our living in Schweinfurt was a ticking time bomb...Dagi hates it there (so do I!) And, she became very impatient with me. She basically gave me an ultimatum....

"Turn your life around, start real work again...regain your identity and pride again, or I am gone".


These are the words she said to me 2 years ago once the stress of our life in Schweinfurt started to show cracks in our relationship...little did I know how seriously she meant that! So...drastic measures were called for, and I acted!

I am now in Orlando...doing EXACTLY what she asked me to do...working, making a new life. And my reward? How does she thank me?

By dating other men, writing 4 WORD text messages, and refusing to answer my phone calls.

"No good deed goes unpunished".









This is how Dagi looked the month I first met her. This pic is of her and Zina, a gal that works with Dagi at H&M in Schweinfurt.

I have (last count) more than 2,000 pictures of Dagi, but only about 80-90 on my Travel/memory stick . I'll try to post what I have, and put is a small blurb about her, about us, and what was going on during that particular picture.






These two "Witchywoman" pics were taken at the lake in Schweinfurt. When we didnt have the money or time to go somewhere else, we usually went there to watch the ducks, and just talk and be together. I miss these days more than you can imagine.


Jimmy and Dagi out on the town....This is how most people remember us...always together, and smiling.



Squeeze her, and please her! I love her so much...more than my own life....




My Sexi hexi! (This is my nickname for her...) it means "My Sexi Witch" in German. And that is what she will always be to me. When I take my last breath on this Earth, it will be Dagi's face that I see....




Here we are at a Truck Stop on our first Trip up to Darlowo....it was the first of many many trips we took together...

Got a 4 WORD text message from my Love today!

WOW! Imagine that! 4 w-o-r-d-s! Awesome! Here it is, I am working my ass off, 7500km's away, trying to UNdo all the mess and drama that has gone on the last few years...stay here separated from the woman I love, endure her rude, and short and insulting Emails and texts....all after I sent her and her Family a huge box of nice American clothing....and all I get? "Thanks for the clothes".

Awesome! (Actually there was a Digital photo key chain in there (pre-loaded with our best Jim and Dagi shots), Candy and clothes for her nephew, a nice Card for her Mother...just a TON of stuff.....

And all I get is....

"Thanks for the clothes".

GREAT! What about "Hey Jim! Thanks for the cool stuff...it all arrived intact today, everybody really likes it all. My Family asks me to say that they miss you and hope that you are doing well, and they hope to be able to see you soon".


How about that? I think that would have been nice....

But all I got? 4 Words...4 words, for the 4.5 years we have been together. Well, I have to fight (literally) the urge to call her up and talk to her, find out what we can do to END this silly horse shit....

But no....

I wont call today. I will just let it ride for now.And just hope that she sees what a mistake she is making. Just take it easy....and wait.

Dagmara...I am waiting honey! I love you!