They always are where I am concerned it seems! I was sitting out on my Patio last night...warm 78 degrees, birds were chirping, Mosquitoes were nipping, and it hit me....
All of the time with my Dagi...I was always on the defensive with her. OK, maybe not "always", but a HUGE amount of our time together.
It seems, that since I was not working "Full time", and seemed to be just lounging around on the Sofa quite a bit, while Dagmara worked full time and all day...that this may have seemed a tad "unfair" to my Brown Eyed girl! So Dagi...when you see this one day...I apologize!
Here are a few other things that I have already apologized for (profusely!) but will for sake of conversation, and hopefully resolution...will do again:
* I am sorry for yelling at you for calling me too much. It used to really bug me, because you called the T-H-E worst moments. But I would pay a million dollars to have you call me now! So, I am sorry.
* I am sorry for not having taken more aggressive steps to more permanent and meaningful work sooner. The chance really didn't didn't present itself to me until Dirk opened his door (and Wallet) to me here in Florida. Ironically, it was YOU that made me come here, and YOU that now tells everyone that I "left you". Well...now that I am here, and have accomplished virtually all of the things that I set out to do, and then extended you a very gracious invitation to come here and see things for yourself. You spat in my face, and refused my offer. So, what do I have to be "sorry" for in this instance? I am "sorry" for believing that you were a person of positive character, and for believing that you meant what you said, and that you really loved me. I am sorry for being so gullible, and so Naive.
* I am sorry that I called your Mother such bad names after we broke up in December. In my own Defense, I can only say that she led me to believe that she cared for me, and was interested in our relationship. When it turned out that she was two-faced, and was plotting against me behind me back...then this makes me (again) feel "sorry" for having believed in your Family. I am "sorry" I was blind. Love makes you that way ya know!
* I am sorry that I always referred to women or girls that I knew from my past. I truly am sorry for this. But can you remember that it was you that practically tortured me to find out these things? That you asked silly questions about all my past relationships incessantly? And for what? Then, when I made the mistake of telling you...my reward for openesss and honesty? Your constant temper tantrums and psychotic episodes. (of which the one we are experiencing right now, takes the cake, wins the prize, and is worth of an Oscar!) The lengths that you have gone to now, to make my life Hell...to turn on me, and forget all of the promises that you made to me once again make me (you guessed it...) "Sorry". I am sorry I was so open, I am sorry I didn't see that you would one day use these things against me, I am sorry for not seeing and believing again...Sorry, sorry, sorry.
* I am sorry for spending more money and time on my cars than was necessary. I know it took thousands of dollars in Monies that we could have used for Vacations, or trips, or (more) gifts for your Family. I am sorry for this...but it was my cars and my Hobbies that helped me in the times when you were on my back the most. I used it as a crutch...and for this, I am sorry.
(Its interesting to note here, that where I am constantly being forced to apologize for the silliest of things...that my dear Sweet Dagi has N-E-V-E-R apologized, or admitted to a mistake in the entire 4.5 years thyat we were together! Not once, ever, period! Hard to believe, but true. Sad but true actually. And, when I would "call" her on it, and ask directly or indirectly? her answer "Ja mein gott! Es ist halt so". (German translation: "Yeah, so what...thats the way it is")
Not exactly the foundation of healthy two-way communication is it? But I love her...what can I say! She is the girl for me. Plain and simple.
I imagine there are probably dozens of other things that I could apologize for, and if I can think of them, I'll add them here. These are just the ones that I could think of on the spur of the moment.
And so, I once again...apologize, and say I am sorry...for not remembering all the things that I should be saying I am sorry about!
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